The Proof Is In The Pudding...
I've been working lately on tending to my gardens and getting them ready for planting. It really is all about the effort and time that you put into it. Sowing the seeds, nurturing the new growth, tending to the soil that will be it's new home, and pulling up the weeds that grow up around it competing with the plant for all the nutrients. It's a full-time job if you want to do it right. It's a good thing I love to dig in the dirt!
This got me thinking about a metaphor someone said to me many moons ago. "The Proof Is In The Pudding". This was right when I was in the thick of it, with raising a little one on my own and wanting nothing but the best for her. So, it's those early years, just like when your first tending to your new seedlings that matter the most. I've read somewhere that a child is "programmed" before the age of 7. I struggled with wanting to do what was right, and looking back, I can beat myself up for not finding the "right man" sooner, moving them often, and oh the list can go on. Or I can see that I put so much effort into raising my daughters that it was only in the name of love, that I was trying my best to better myself for them and our situation.
I've seen that it's paying off now. Children are sponges and soak up everything the parent "is doing", good or bad. We are energetic beings and even if you think just because something is not spoken they will not know, well - that's wrong. Kids are more attuned to what's not said, then what is. It's like that saying, "Do as I say not as I do." Ha! Just like tending to a garden we must tend to our children and the weeds that grow up around them.
By no means do I think that anyone will have this down with perfection, but one can parent with an honest open heart. I apologize to my kids all the time, maybe too much, but that's my way of being. I also make things a big deal when I know their character is involved. Thing is... we as parents need to work on ourselves all the time. Through Yoga and mindfulness I have been able to parent from a place of Love and not control. Yes, it's a work in progress. That's why we call it a yoga practice. We can only guide and love them unconditionally through their journey in this life.
Looking at my two girls now, I see so many wonderful qualities and traits that have been planted from early on in life and... the not so good ones. They're all there. So, next time you're complaining about an annoying behavior in your child, take a good look at yourself, they probably picked it up from you. That's when I say, boy I need to work on that one. That's what being mindful is all about.
Being mindful is about.... being PRESENT.