Reflecting Through A Snowy Hike
As I hiked through the deep snow I couldn't help but reflect on a dream I had a couple nights ago. I was swimming in a huge body of water with my daughter Alley and there happened to be a lifeguard there showing us how to save someone from drowning. Alley looked over at me and said, "mom, you can save me" and wrapped her arm around me letting go of all her body weight. At first, I thought I can't do this and told her so and she didn't listen to me. I was struggling, trying to hold on to her with one arm and swimming with the other... we started to sink and she still held on to me. I remember hitting the floor of the lake or whatever it was and thinking I can-not-save-you. I then awoke.
As I reflected, I realized this dream really was about my mother and my desperate attempts to save her from dying even though deep in my heart I knew God had his own plans for her.
The snow is still falling and I continue to move forward with one foot in front of the other. It's that simple. I'm moving through the pain and allowing what needs to surface to be released with love.