Sometimes we need to heal ourselves from our perception of a memory that doesn't serve us well. Memories can make or break us depending on how we look at them, right?
I have this memory from when my mom was in the hospital ER and there I sat, detached from her, as she was told she was in an active stage of dying. Watching the doctor tell my mother this devastating news, I saw or maybe felt her will to live leave her body at that exact moment. I don't know why of all times in my ER visits with her, this time I didn't get up to console her or just stand right by her side.
I'm living with this guilt "for now" allowing it to make my existence here even more human. Currently, I'm working on releasing this guilt (fluctuation of the mind) through my yoga practice. We always have the power to allow something to consume us or transform us. I'm choosing to allow this moment of the imperfection of an imperfect human to transform me to be a better version of myself; a more forgiving self that is.
It's human to feel, human to make bad judgment calls, human to not be perfect all the time. Yoga is not about taking the human parts of your existence away but allowing forgiveness of oneself through the practice of the eight limbs of yoga. Become "the seer", allowing all these emotions and memories to run through you.
It's a practice, remember.
- The Yamas and Niyamas to give direction morally.
- Asana (posture) to move energy through the body, bringing in goodness and releasing all that doesn't serve you well.
- Pranayama (breath control) Control the breath, control the mind. Breathing deeply to soften and forgive hard memories.
- Pratyahara, dharana, dhyana, and samadhi all leading to meditation (being present). We suffer most when we live in the past or too far into the future.